Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Day 2 - Pewter City to Cerulean City

So to recap: Pokémon Blue! Single Nidoran Challenge! Brock: Crumbled!

After feeling like I just went 10 rounds with Brock Lesner, Route 3 was like a walk in the park. Since I was down to absolutely nothing in terms of items and money, I had had to rebuild my capital the only way I knew how: beating up little kids. What did I say before in my last post... something about these games teaching good values? Hey, if you're ten years old and want to make in the real world I'm gonna show you what it's like, Youngster #4. You like shorts? How 'bout I short you some change?


After me and the blue pineapple got finished mugging everything in sight, it was time to take on Mt. Moon. And wouldn't ya know it, it was crawling with Zubats. It's been said a million times before by anyone who's played the game, but it's just plain true: Zubats were put into the game because, secretly, the devs hate us. Never mind that Leech Life is super-effective against my one and only 'mon, but Supersonic by virtue is one of the most hair-pulling aspects of fighting what should be a minor annoyance. It drive ya straight-up batty. On the subject of frustration, I also ended up blacking out to the first Rocket Grunt you meet. Even though I was 9 levels ahead of anything he had, his Sandshrew kicked sand in my face while his flying rat flew around and screamed like a British hooker until 'ol horn head knocked herself out in confusion.


Oh, and here's something I nearly forgot about - that one Rocket in the second basement with a level 16 Raticate. I'm guessing there was some kinda oversight at Gamefreak when they programmed this fugly, fully-evolved hamster that's got 2-3 levels on everything else in here. Crits on like every other Tackle too, so I ended up dousing little miss blow dart in at least one potion just to get by. I hope someone higher up at Rocket notices this guy - he's a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.


Being that this is strictly a one-mon show, I didn't actually need any of the fossils at the end, but I knew I'd need a Surf slave at some point in the future. Since Omanyte and Kabuto are both under-achievers who only learn that one HM, one living surfboard was as good as another. So I just flipped a coin and moved on. 


Now, It's sort of an odd moral dilemma, but I've always wondered why I only got to take one fossil here. Seems to me that I just KO'd the only bargaining chip Mr. Super Nerd had in this little paleologic dumpster dive, now he says we can each take one? Or what, he'll pummel me with his lifeless Voltorb? I don't think he's part of Team Rocket, so it's not like he can send his goons after me. Maybe he's an intern. Or maybe this act of villainy will push him to become another rival, and I've already got one too many of those as it is. In that case, I'll gladly leave you to your spoils, not-quite Woody Allen. Let's never speak of this again.

At last, Cerulean City! You know, for a place that bills itself as a water town there sure ain't a whole lot of water in the city itself. But coming here did answer my question as to why I've never seen people with any kind of vehicles around: if bicycles cost a million bucks (basket not standard), only the five richest kings of Europe should be able to afford cars, or even a scooter. At this point there were two options open for me: go straight for Misty at the gym, or play it safe and beat up some trainers on Nugget Bridge and beyond first. Since the last gym I visited ended up making me look like a battered housewife... I mean husband. Battered husband. Who was... beat up by his wife? I walked into a door, okay? I was trying to bust through it like Ultimate Warrior or the Kool-Aid guy. Real men, like me. Even if they are, coincidentally, both filled with juice.

So since I left the last gym looking like an old punching bag, I decided to hit the dirt and grind out some more levels first. And speaking of punching bags...



It just wouldn't be a new area without BLUE! Man, he really let that Pidgey go. More like a Turkey Named Slickback. He stuck by his old strategy of kicking sand in my face, which I still had no defense against so I just sorta let him do it. By the time Charmander stepped up my little needle mouse was flailing around like Ray Charles... before he got his Daredevil powers. Once again I was forced to use a potion, but I put the lizard's lights out in more ways than one, along with the rest of the Nugget brigade and that guy from Rocket human resources at the end. His pitch was okay, but they've got no retirement plan. "Whatever ya steal, ya keep". Yeah, that'll get me by. I know, I'm already stealing from grade-schoolers and I can barely support myself and one incredibly bristly kid.





Oh, and just to show that I don't care what people think of my skills as a trainer, I have to mention that Slowpoke Guy and his stupid Slowpoke knocked me out with a Confusion crit despite a 10 level difference. How in Arceus' name does a Slowpoke even crit? Isn't that kinda thing based on Speed in this game? Anyway, after taking down every non-Hiker on Route 25 (those granola-eatin' beardos can keep their creepy-faced rocks to themselves) and popping a Rare Candy, my little venom spitter was 29 and just learned Bite. Finally, something half decent. Of course, since I'm still in the stone age, this move's a Normal-type, but it sure beats two kinds of Tackle. Now, it was time to get my feet wet.


Okay, that is one weird pool. I know this is supposed to be more of an arena than a sports facility but it'd probably be really hard to do laps or play water polo with that awkwardly shaped platform running through the middle. Then again, imagine the shenanigans for Marco Polo. I always thought that squared-off area was like a hot tub. Either that or a kiddie pool. But right now, it was about to become adult swim all up in this beast.

Now, as for the battle, it was... actually kinda anticlimactic. It was the No Country for Old Men of gym skirmishes. Okay, maybe not that extreme, but in retrospect I guess I should have tried to take Misty on first instead of stopping to grind. Granted, my level lead wasn't too severe, and I did have to use two Potions while fighting her Starmie (that BubbleBeam did some damage), but it it wasn't the challenge I thought It'd be. My spiny little scrapper was able to sweeper straight on through just Biting like a coked-up piranha, and things could have gone in a whole different direction if I had gotten confused, but she did end up with one bad case of swimmer's ear. As an aside, I'd forgotten how cool Starmie's sprite looked in Red and Blue. It's like a crazy tie-fighter or something.


---

Hey, look at that, I'm 1/4 of the way through my quest for the badges! Aside from a few slip-ups at the beginning, I think I'm getting the hang of this one-Pokemon dealie. It sure will be great once my prime contender actually learns some attacks that aren't plane jane Normal-type. Just think, I could have caught a Pidgey or Spearow. Nothing but Normal/Flying the whole game. Yeesh!


Nidoran Lv. 29
 Bite [Normal]
Scratch [Nomal]
Poison Pin [Poison]
Tail Whip [Normal]

  HP: 78
Atk: 41
Def: 40
Spc: 39
Spd: 38

Total Stats 
Play Time: 2:48
Trainers beaten:  39
Wild Pokemon beaten: 58
Saves: 15
Potions used: 17
Black-outs: 5